


Die Early, Die Often

by Chrononautical



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gen, the no pronoun game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 18:06:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5301476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrononautical/pseuds/Chrononautical
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dying is easy, living is harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Die Early, Die Often

“It’s not that I don’t totally appreciate that time when you gave your life so that EDI and I could bang,” Joker said conversationally, limping over to Shepard’s prone body. 

“I really, really appreciate that,” he said, stopping for a moment and staring into the middle distance. Shaking his head abruptly, he continued. “But this is getting ridiculous. Glad to have you with us again and everything, but this is worse than the old days, the early days on the Normandy SSV when you seemed to drop every time a bullet so much as grazed your shields.” 

Pushing through the pain in his legs he dropped gracelessly onto the cold, unforgiving metal of the ship deck next to his commanding officer. “Even back then this was never on me. Kaiden and Ashley were in charge of slapping some medi-gel wherever the bleeding was worst and bringing you back to life.” Taking just a moment to catch his breath, he couldn’t help but remember Virmire and everything that had been lost there.

“Doctor Chakwas I am not,” he grumbled, fumbling with his omni-tool. Thinking about Virmire inevitably lead to thinking about that other time Shepard died. Bits of the Normandy exploding around them like shooting stars and Joker left alive, knowing that he was the reason that the Alliance’s greatest hero was sucking vacuum. 

The number of times Shepard had almost, but not exactly, died were countless. Only a few of them were safe to think about. “Remember that time one of those husks chewed your face off and Grunt used like three extra packs reviving you? You looked like a slime monster."

For all his complaints, Joker wasn't a new recruit. He applied the medi-gel with a steady wave of his omni-tool. Shepard gasped, eyes snapping open.

"Welcome back, Commander."

**Author's Note:**

> Looking forward to Andromeda, but I'm going to miss these idiots.


End file.
